愛程

凌晨三點鐘,突然有寫部落格的衝動...真的太久沒動,連自己的部落格link都不記得了!(還好沒把密碼之類的忘掉!!!)

這一路來...真的需要感激很多人;
我愛過的人當中,
有傷過我的人,被我傷害過人的;
有小我很多的,年紀差不多的,比我大很多很多的;
有我暗戀很久的,暗戀我很久的...
他們真令我學會了很多...很多...令本來天真幼稚的我,成熟過來(也許只有我這麼覺得 =x )
不怕說...喜歡過的人加上默默暗戀過的人,真的多不勝數...
也許看到這裡,別人會覺得我花心.也許...
可是,喜歡一個人有罪嗎?而且我喜歡那麼多個,有多少個是喜歡自己的?
沒有!!!
那難道要我死守一個沒有結果的愛情,默默的...傻傻的守候?
難道就沒有選擇的權利?
我守候過一個沒有結果的愛情兩年...到最後我得到什麼?
答案只有別人的不理不睬!不論你對他多麼的愛護...什麼狗屎垃圾!

ps:說到那個火就打起來... psps繼續~

當中:
傷得我最痛的那個人,也是年紀比我小很多的人.
他令我學會最多,
一對情侶,
不能每天都粘得太緊..這樣只會逼到對方對你反感.
不能對他太過的好,他會因為這樣而自大起來,覺得你沒有他不行.
他還令我的直覺變強,觀察力上升,而且不能太過放縱一個人.
還有做人不能太過無趣,每天粘在一起即想不到一點話題.還沒在一起的時候,話題多到聊都聊不完,每天通電話3-5個小時,可是為什麼在一起久了就連一點話題都找不到?
可是也因為我學會的,
我開始不敢太粘,也就被人覺得我不重視.
已經不會如何在對別人好,被人覺得我很黑心.
觀察力強,疑心也變種,想的自然也變多,信任度自然減少...
最後還學會說很多爛笑話~哈哈...

第二:
被我傷害過的人,也就是年紀差不多的人.
這是我最敷衍的一次愛情,我也很抱歉...
他令我學會了珍惜,對不起,拋棄了才學會如何珍惜.
不珍惜,也就沒有後悔可言...不論你怎麼道歉,錯過了就再也沒機會了.
他讓我體會到傷害我最痛的人對我的感覺,他對我太好,太粘...把我捧得太高,變得自大...
有些事情,不親身體驗是不會了解那感覺,學會用對方的角度去看.

第三:
我暗戀印象最深刻和暗戀我的人.
他們讓我學會人不能總是活在幻想當中,要會分哪些是真實的哪些是虛幻的.
要學會分,哪些是高不可攀的人,哪些是你怎麼努力也得不到的人.
你真的只能默默的,看著他,把他當成偶像的崇拜,這樣你會快樂些.
暗戀/明戀我的人,令我知道社會險惡..為了得到你而不折手段的說你好話,只要你為這些話而動心,就等於完蛋.他們不是為愛情而來,而是為樣子,為"性"而來...可悲吧?
他們令我學會了,不要輕信花言巧語,誰不會說?
多喝水啊~早點睡啊~照顧身體啊~你吃了沒啊~都是千篇一律的~
令我學會什麼?學到我也會花言巧語怎麼哄一個人上釣 =__="
但起碼我釣到,我不會輕言放棄!這是我最近學會的...哈哈...

第四:
令我覺得莫名其妙,被控制得很辛苦的人,也就是年紀比我大很多的人.
他令我知道,流下男兒淚是很容易騙得了一個人心軟的. xD
他其實也就是我所說的,別因一個人對你太好,就輕易相信的人.
一旦你上鉤,他之前所對你的好,都要回收...甚至連利息也一起計算.
對不起說一句,他對我很好...可是就被控制得很辛苦,我想做回我自己.
這裡我學會,喜歡一個人不是要改變他,而是喜歡他的全部.
你的愛人不是你的傀儡,一旦失去他想要的自由,他就會離你而去.
還有就是,如果你真的不是那麼喜歡對方,請儘早讓對方知道...最起碼雙方不用繼續那麼辛苦的繼續維持那段已經沒有愛的愛情.


第五:
我付出(不是金錢)過最多的暗戀對象,也就是挑戰自己(犯賤)的一個對象.
他就是令我最火大的一個人,也許還是在意,所以到目前都還控制不了自己的情緒.
他令我學會如果那個人還不是你的另一半,千千萬萬不要為了追求他而花那一分一毫!
那一定是不值得的!試想想,如果你用錢得到的愛情,很明顯他只在意你的錢(小禮物是okay啦),因為到最後你會發現,你正在把錢丟進淡水海!他一點都不會在乎的,如果她會喜歡你,你根本不用花一分錢,你還是能"搞定"他.
再來就是,當你很清楚知道自己很對方不可能的時候,請及時把自己的腳拔出來,不要越踩越深直到無法自拔的狀態.唯一的方法就是,盡可能少見(或不見)對方(這是對我自己有用的方法)
還有一點他真的令我找到我人生中重要的東西,就是"知己".
以前需要把事情埋在心裡,最起碼現在我有朋友能夠分享我的喜悅,這目前是我人生中最快樂的一件事~

不知不覺已寫了一小時半...是時候休息了 =_="

想你,卻不打擾你,是因為太愛你

Miss you, but won't disturb you, because too love you.

If I could get back to the past, I chose not to know you.

I am not regret.

I cannot stand with the ending without you.

Since then, our happiness has nothing to do with each other.

The word "love" with me was unreachable.

Quietly miss you, and put a section of grace of music.

Your figure is fuzzy, and your face is hazy, but this does not affect the mood I miss you.

I did not miss you very much, just miss you while I am happy, you are the first person I wanted to share my happiness.

I did not miss you very much, just miss you while I am unhappy, you are the first person I wanted to talk to.

I did not miss you very much, just listen song will suddenly remind of you, no why, just because the lyrics written like you and me.

I did not miss you very much, just woke up in the morning will suddenly remind of you, no why, just because the person in the dream like you.

I did not miss you very much, just when reading will suddenly remind of you, no why, just because the protagonist in the book like you and me.

I seriously did not miss you very much, I think of you while reach an entry; I just see a disc halfway will remind of you, I just heard a song halfway will remind of you.

I seriously did not miss you very much, I just miss you while I do not want to think of you.

I did not miss you very much, I just very miss you until the eyes moist.

Miss you, but afraid to let you know, so not dare to disturb you.

Only save the message that you sent to me in the cellular phone, read it while missing you, and then kept laughing, and sadness.

Only save the songs that you always played it, always reluctant to delete, even it is a very common song, listen to it while missing you.

In the lonely night waiting for your message, when received your message, the mind is a sense of excitement, but only reply you a light regards, light joke, and light noisy. (not really know how to translate @_@”)

If didn’t receive the message, will just sleep with a hint of sadness

The day without your news, I will frantically searching for your news, act nonchalance inquired about you, and then listen what they said about you, all these dribs and drabs in mind.

I love you more than what I am imagine, but cannot tell you.

Raise the head and looked at the clouds, breathing the air of the cities, will remind of you.

Think it will always come to you, even it will not, the heart still warm.

At this moment, I miss you, but just miss you, but not to disturb you.

如果我能回到從前,我會選擇不認識你.

不是后悔.

是我不能面對,沒有你的結局.

從此以后,我們的幸福,與彼此都無關了.

原來”愛”這個字,與我遙不可及.

靜靜的想你,放上一段優雅的音樂.

你的身影很模糊,你的臉龐很朦朧,但這并不影響我想你的情緒.

我沒有很想你,只是在高興的時候會想你,你是我第一個要分享的人.

我不是很想你,只是在不高興的時候會很想你,你是我第一個想要傾訴的人.

我沒有很想你,只是在聽歌的時候會突然想起你,不為什么,只因為那歌詞里寫的好象我和你.

我沒有很想你,只是在早晨醒來的時候會突然想起你,不為什么,只因為夢里出現的人好像你.

我沒有很想你,只是在看書的時候會突然想起你,不為什么,只因為那書中的主角好象我和你,

我真的沒有很想你,我只是在走到某個入口的時候才會想起你,我只是看碟看到一半的時候會想起你,我只是聽歌聽到一半的時候回想起你.

我真的沒有很想你,我只是在我不想想你的時候想起你.

這樣真好,我沒有很想你,我只是很想你到眼睛濕潤.

想你,但卻很好怕讓你知道,所以不敢也不會打擾你.

只有把你的信息藏在手機里,想你的時候把它們翻出來慢慢的看,細細的品,然后就不停的在偷笑,悲傷.

只有把你的經常放的歌保存起來,一直都舍不得刪去,哪怕是幾首很普通的歌曲.

想你的時候把它們翻出來放上一遍,細細的品味.

只有在每個寂寞如水的夜晚等你的信息,等來了,心里是一陣莫名的激動,但壓印著滿懷的高興給你發去淡淡的問候,淡淡的玩笑,淡淡的吵鬧.

等不來,就只有帶著一絲淡淡的惆悵,但半夢半醒中睡去.

在沒有你消息的日子里,只有拼命地尋找你的點滴,裝作若無其事地打聽關于你的一切,然后***起耳朵聽他們說著你的點滴,把這些點點滴滴都刻在腦海里.

我一直都比想象得更加愛你,可是卻不能告訴你.

抬頭望著這個城市的云,呼吸著這個城市的空氣,也會想起你.

想著它會一直飄到你那里,哪怕是這樣,心里還是暖暖的.

此刻,我想你,但只是想你,而不打擾你.

To Love and To Be Loved

The one you like, might not like you,

the one like you, you might not like...

What this call? Fate?

Sigh...

You keep asking who like me? Who I like?

But... you don't know how hurt I am,

I don't care how many admirer I have,

I only care about you.

I am willing to take the risk, just for you.

Seriously,

I really like to see your smiling face...

Although very stupid or nonsense action,

I would do, just wanted to make you smile.

No matter how many word I wrote,

no matter how much I cared about you,

you will never know, and never want to know...

Have you ever thought about one day,

someone tell you they like you?

What is your reaction?

Maybe you will be happy to hear that,

but... if that was me?

Obviously,

Whoever around us,

easily get to know that I like you...

For you...

We are just being closer...

For me...

The more hope I have, the greater the disappointment.

Time passed quickly,

unconsciously I have like you for half a year.

Although not a long time,

I am happy with the time being with you.

Love you, but not necessarily to have you

These days,

I changed my thought...

Like or Love a person, is not necessarily to have them.

Yeah...

Can't have them, is sad,

but think properly, and think in different way.

A couple,

no freedom,

will have quarrel with each other,

jealousness each other,

there will be a lot of trouble.

Is that what we wanted?

If we keep our relationship now,

I'll feel happy, when saw them happy,

at least I can see their smiling face appear,

at least I can play around with them...

No need to worry too much...

But will miss them...

no people share the happyness or sadness is the worst.

Yesterday's Dream

3.30a.m, It is very late...

but... I couldn't sleep...

so... I thought a lot...

At First...

The shadow of you was automatically come to my mind...

But... These times, I didn't thought about "I can't have you"...

I'm thought about when we became a couple...

It is sweet...

Holding your hand, when we have any outing...

Kissing your cheek, when we are apart...

Hugging your waist, when we sit together...

Having food together, living together...

Study together, working together...

Travel the world together...

Yea... I knew that is only dreams...

But... It is happy when I thought about you and me...

I will cherish it, since we have not much time together...

Secondly,

My previous life...

I started to think that I'm very naive when I was young...

Even now, I still think that I'm not mature at all...

How naive I am?

When I was Standard 1, there was a pretty girl at our class...

She is generally recognized as the pretty girl...

Just because of these reason... I started to think I like her...

At first, I bought a cheap pencil box and pack nicely,

but... not dare to give her... (my whole life is so timid)

Still remember that is my Moral teacher help to pass it to her...

but... she open it, and asked someone to pass it back to me...

That was my first time being rejected xD

but I had no feeling at all...

When I was Standard 2, the same thing happened to me...

Same case, but with different pretty girl...

but these time I didn't make any action, and just told my friends I like her... Thats all...

Now, the girl already married, and had a baby...

I don't think I know what love is when I was young,

even now also not so sure...

Why we need love in our life?

Until I'm Standard 5...

I'm started to become famous at the school...

Started to have some pursuers...

But... I rejected them and run away from them...

Maybe because of the feeling of jealous,

my friends are in love with their girl friend...

So... I tried to find a target...

Finally, I get it, and together with her for few months...

but... after that... I met my "First".(Confused xD)

I tried to find some reason to discard her...

but... the same things happen to me, being discarded...

so... I can't stand alone, and tried to find her back...(After you all saw these, someone will kill me >"<)

The similar thing happened for my second love...

Discarded, wanted it back...

Thought until here... I knew I'm really stupid and fickle-minded...

Someone might love you forever, but you rejected/discarded...

Someone might only play around with you, but you put all your efforts there...

Life... Is complicated...

But... take it easy, you will be enjoy it...

How many people can enjoy their life without any worries/upset?

Do we really cherish what you have now?

Should I Give Up?

After spent whole night to read through yours blog,

from the oldest post until the newest post...

I found out that...

99.99% I can't have you, even I tried to improve myself...

last time I always wrote "I can't have you",

without any prove, it just I'm no courage when facing you...

Now...

I knew the answer clearly...

This is not I'm no efforts, and not my personality problem...

Not because of I'm not your type, and not we don't know each other...

What else?

I don't think you will change your mind...

Since I knew, you are a stubborn person...

Stubborn with something you think you are right,

Stubborn with some theoretical problems,

Stubborn with left and right, up and down...

Should I give up?

Since I knew, I don't have the chance together with you...

If not...

I will feel exhausting when chat with you...

I will feel grieving when look at you...

I will feel helpless when you play around with me...

I'm going to crazy soon...

Although I wanted to give up,

but... I can?

Want to forget a person is not that easy...

The More Intimate We Are The More Fragile My Heart Is

These days, we are  getting more close to each other...

These should be happy...

but... do i really feel happy?

Seriously,

The movement I am together with you are happy,

but... the mood becomes very down after that...

and... will think much more negative things...

Because,

I know... I can't have you...

I know... I can't know you better...

I know... In the near future, you will be away from me...

But,

I wish can know you better,

and know what is in your mind now.

Do you have same feeling with me?

or else you totally didn't think about love in your life?

I am minded every single words you wrote(excepted those i can't understand)...

and single things you spoken...

Wish... always never come true...

just hide myself and cry alone...

Come from different planet

Everytime, when I fall in love...

There won't be any miracles happen...

Even though i like them, but we seem like come from different planet...

I was wonder...

We have different thought,

for me... It is only love in my mind,

but for them... Im not sure...

We have different interest,

what I like, they don't like,

what they like, I may not like,

but I am trying to join them...

You know...?

I am tried my best to improved myself,

the reason why I do that...

It is all because of you...

What song you like, I just tried to accept it...

What activities you like, I tried to pratice it...

But... seem like i changed for nothing...

If we got chance to be together...

will this relationship be able to last long?

Even thought now with my dear also the same,
Im seriously do not know what they are thinking...
Am I stupid? or else we just need time to understand each other?

Do You Like Me?

Who will u think of when you are lonely

每個人孤單的時候,都會在想不同的東西...

你呢?

我...不喜歡孤單的感覺...

在我孤單,覺得很無助的時候...

我...想起了你...

想你,即把自己變得更無助...更加的寂寞...

而你又知道么?

每一次想起你的時候...

我都認不住的想要流淚...但我不能...

因為...我知道...我是不可能擁有你...

想到這里,我的心是多么的沉重...

我能想你到多久?喜歡你到多久?

我知道...我自己是多么的花心...

但是...如果有機會...

我也想...一心一意的去對你...

但是,我有這個機會么?

想到這里,我的心又再次受創...

這種感覺要在我心里呆多久?

誰也不知道...

就連我自己也不懂...

每當我心里有很多說不出的傷痛時...

看臺灣愛情連續劇是我的首選...

看愛情戲會令我覺得好過些...

我就是這樣熬過來的...

Everyone will think different, when they are lonely.

How about you?

I don't like the lonely feeling...
When i feel lonely and helpless,
I think of you...
Miss you... namely oneself more helpless and more lonely...

You know?
Every time when I think of you...
I feel my tears is coming out from my eyes... But I can't...
Because... I know... I can't have you...
Thought of here, my heart is so heavy.

How long can I miss you into? How long can I like you into?
I know... I am fickle-minded...
But... If I have the chances.
I want to undivided attention to you...
But do I have the chance?
Thought of here, my heart wound again.

  
How long do this feeling stay in my heart?
Who know?
Even myself also won't know.
Whenever I have these feeling,
I like to watch Taiwan drama which related to love.
It makes me feel better.
That is how I stay until now...

♂暗♥恋♀- Unrequited Love

這是2008年發生的...算起來也不算久...
我把日期寫出來是因為我要給自己記得...


最近很烦...这世上能让我伤心,烦恼,开心,享尽甜 酸苦辣的也就只有爱情.而且最讨厌的是暗恋!就不懂为什么我只有暗恋的份,却拿不起勇气去表白.明明就有他的电话号码,就是不敢把信息传过去; 明明他根本都不懂我的电话号码,就是怕他会打过来问我是谁;明明是那么的近,却把他想得很遥远.我到底是怎么了?为什么我就如此胆小?我不想再过毫无结果 的暗恋生活,暗恋真的很辛苦...

24/10/2008 - 今天我正打算去某地方,正当我到那里时...我...看见了他,可能是夜晚吧,所以我都没什么注意他.当我走进店里时,里边就只有我一个客人,感觉好尴 尬...不久,他就从外面走了进来.他样子不怎么样(因为我看人都从样子看起),当他来问我东西时,我才认真的看了他一下下...真的不怎么样!!!但 是...就有一股魅力吸引着我.我一直偷偷的看着他,脸颊耳朵不仅红了起来,感觉好热.可惜...见他的时间只有短短的半小时...我跟他拿了名片(电话 号码的来源)就回家去了.
在那之后,我開始習慣性的每天假裝經過他的店,偷偷的望他一眼都好~但是...我知道這樣下去也不會有什么結果.開始有點心疼...

03/12/2008 - 興奮的回到家,準備還一切開始出發~就可能太過興奮,還沒出家門耳朵臉頰就紅紅熱熱的...走著走著,滿腦子都是他.到了...我蠻期待的打開了門,但既 看不到他的蹤影,心里不禁失望了一下下(雖然知道他不可能不在).當我坐下來的時候(東張西望),后來他還是出現了,而且還小笑了一下下.心里亂想,他 笑...是因為我又來光顧嗎?還是...原本很多話想說,但嘴有如千金重,想說...卻開不了口...真的很想把自己打一頓...怎么自己那么沒用啊?他 不就在我的眼前么?卻什么都做不到說不出!見他的時間,還是那么的短...又是時候離開了...我...不舍得...但是,要怪只能怪自己的無能那么的沒 用...
已經兩個月了...我還是那么的想他,還是無時無刻的去偷偷的望他....有沒有人能告訴我能怎么做.有!都是叫我打電話給他或信息他...但我都做不到...已經不懂如何是好了~

17/01/2009 - 一个半月没见到他了...今天我又在光顾了他.我今天，没有以前的兴奋，没有以前的冲动...只是有想见他的想法！我已知道，我跟他是不可能的了... 但，我还带着一丝的希望进了去~今天跟以往不一样，平时他最多只是笑笑而已。今天不一样的地方就是...他跟我打招呼了，感觉就像我是他的熟客一样。我不 懂该兴奋好还是怎么样...从他口中得知，那间店是他跟一个异性partner所开的...当时听了即感觉有点失望，很想放弃的感觉。过后我却从他手下口 中得知，他们只是partner，却不是情侣...感觉松了一口气+少许开心。而且这次是我跟他谈话最多的一次，从而得知一些关于他的事情~时间又这样过 去了...我自个儿跑了去吃晚餐，完了就回家~没想到回去時经过他的店，他看到我还很热情的打招呼。我不懂该开心还是怎么样了...可能...我跟他有缘 既無份吧！能再见他的时间不多，以后还有没有机会还是个不知数~

14/03/09 - 我还是再次光顾...这次只是带着爱慕者的心情跑了进去。还有，今天特别之处就是我的爱人载我去(至于為什么我會那么快有另一春?繼續看我別的帖子 吧~)~今天的他，一直往外看...好像在等着什么经过似的。我也没多管，这次的话也不多...可能是已经有了爱人的关系吧~对他的喜欢，已经慢慢的减少 了很多。以前的我问过自己一个问题...如果他突然向我表白，我会 选择现在的爱人...还是他...以前很矛盾，很想选择他，但又会很对不起喜欢我的愛人...但今天的我，就算给我选多少次，我都会选现在的爱人！就把他留做我的愛慕者~
到这天为止~以后都不会再更新了，把心放在现在的他会更好吧~再见了~


我的暗戀經歷,即是那么短短的幾個月...是我花心么?善變?我自己也不知道...
非常的討厭自己,為什么就不能一心一意的愛一個人...
也許...我的他...還沒出現吧...
現在...又有別的暗戀對象了...我...到底是不是真的了解什么叫愛?

♫我的過去♫ - My Past

這是N年前的事...

在那個時候，真正喜歡過的只有兩個人。但都是沒結果的愛情，真的無力再去愛別人了～

我的初戀
對他算是一見鐘情吧.剛認識的時候,我們聊很多...甚至很快就成了好朋友,我們 每天通電話,有聊不完的話題,一天聊大概3-4個小時.覺得很開心,沒想到那么快能認識到他,而且還是感情不錯的.過了一段時間,我當了他哥哥...很想說...我不想只當你哥,要當你男朋友!但沒這個勇氣,怕說了就會連朋友都做不了.我就是那么的懦弱...

有次他失戀,哭了...我就跑了過去,安慰他.可能就因為這樣吧,他覺得我對他很好,就對我有好感吧~有一次,我就在信息暗示了我對他的愛意,沒想到他對我也有好感(也許是對他很好,打動了他吧),就這樣我們就開始在一起了.每天都黏在一起,每天都通電話,不然就sms...總之就是一天沒對方的消息都不能,這就是所謂的熱戀期?在一起時,真的很開心.可能是初戀的關系,我把所有感情不顧一切都放在這段愛情里.時間久了,他開始覺得我煩,粘他,沒有新鮮感(可能).開始對我冷了下來,對我的事不怎么想去了解了.那時候,我已經察覺他已經改變了.直到有一天,當他不在的時候,那么巧他沒拿手機...我拿起了他的手機,看了他的信息,竟然...我猜得沒錯,他果然跟另一個人告白!!!

我傷心極了,但我還不死心的希望他會不離開我...我等...我一直改變我自己,故意在他面前出現,但他都無動于衷...我等,等了好久...一年過去...我開始失望了,不再抱有期望,再過回我單身的生活.自從被他拋棄后,我對任何愛情再也不信任,也不會認真的對待.花了很久很久(大概兩年)的時間,才把他從我腦海里抹去,剩下的就是我們的回憶~但是...當我想要過回自己的生活的時候,電話響了...(無名信息)我跟他聊了幾封的信息,但他不怎么愿意告訴我他的身份...最后被我逼他說"你不告訴我,那我跟你聊天也都沒意義"...他才告訴我他的身份.他竟然找我了,也許還有想在一起的意識!我很失望地望著那信息想"你早一年找我的話,那該多好",但我嘴里都停不了游戲游戲...每當他找我,問我在做什么的時候,我都說我在游戲中...他竟然你說"電腦!電腦!電腦!現在電腦比較重要?"o_O"看了這信息...火就來了...我一句"当然是电脑重要,至少它不会伤害我".從此就沒他的消息了~

因為事情都過了有段時間,所以我記得的只有這些~

過后的日子，就變得很悶很無聊~就在想:"別人都在戀愛,我也想找個人陪",就因為這樣而開始找了~當中有過很多過眼云煙的無聊愛情.

我的次戀

直到有一天，跟朋友聊天的時候...無意中聊到了他！一時興起，就找借口從朋友中拿到了他的電話號碼。起初他沒回我的信息，有點失望。但是過了不久才知道他 是因為有些事情才不能回復我信息，我等到他完事后我又再次的寄信息去給他。“嗶嗶”他回信了！沒想到...我無意中說出口的話竟能打動到他...我們就這樣開始了。我們開始我們的約會，雖然很久才能見一次,但是當時我的感覺全回來了。抱著他，就覺得自己好幸福哦。但是...事情往往就是不會如你所愿。也許我們刚认识就成了情侶，話題不多，能說的也不多。我開始覺得這樣下去不是辦法...開始厭倦這樣的日子，每天有或沒話題 都要跟他信息談天。拿起電話:

“哈咯！”雙方都靜靜不出聲...

“為什么不說話”其中一方問...

“不懂要說什么嘛”另一方答...

每天的通話就這樣，但就算是這樣...他都會很開心每天不遲到的信息和通話，他也不會覺得厭倦，也不埋怨些什么。最可惡的就是我自己，卻偏偏覺得被纏著，沒自由很不想這樣。到后來...擺脫不了這種感覺，最后跟他坦白的說了“不然我們分開一下，讓我靜一靜”。他聽了后，哭了...打了通電話過來：“為什么？”當時我覺 得很心疼，但又擺脫不了那些感覺，就坦白地告訴了他。他還說了一句“我會等你”

過后的日子，我又一個人了...當中還是有跟他聯絡，但是都是罵架收場。日子一天一天的過，那些感覺終于消失了。每當我看到目標的時候，腦中突然會浮現他的影子。而且目標都跟他很像。慘了...才發覺原來...我還是喜歡他！我又厚著臉皮去找他聊天，一點一點的暗示著他。但最后還是罵架收場。直到有一天，在某地方 看見了他...但幾乎都不認得他。他變了！我就再次信息他，還好...沒有罵架了。我忍不了心里對他掛念，開口對他表白了...但是得到的結果就是... “對不起，我不知道要給你什么反應”聽了這句話后，心很疼。雖然他不回我信息，但是我還是一天一封的寄過去。

直到有一天，收到他的一些消息。就想到了個壞點子，打算用激漲法使他回我信息。不料，他真的回我了，但是被罵得很慘。結果弄巧反拙...我還是每天不斷的寄信息過去，直到現在半封都沒回我。我真的很后悔，后悔自己拋棄了他，后悔自己對他所做的一切。可是世上沒后悔可言，后悔莫及！我覺得好累...無力再去爭了...我知道...這一直以來都是自己的錯,我不能怨他為什么不能在接受我...

我只能默默的祝福他。只要他過的開心就好，希望他找到懂得珍惜他的人。無論他原不原諒我，我都希望他能把我們的回憶留著！也许放手才是真正解脫的方法~

(这些事情已有很久的一段时间了...所以这文章只是个回忆...请读者明白)

Im trying to translate it to English... Give me sometime =.="