凌晨三點鐘,突然有寫部落格的衝動...真的太久沒動,連自己的部落格link都不記得了!(還好沒把密碼之類的忘掉!!!)
這一路來...真的需要感激很多人;
我愛過的人當中,
有傷過我的人,被我傷害過人的;
有小我很多的,年紀差不多的,比我大很多很多的;
有我暗戀很久的,暗戀我很久的...
他們真令我學會了很多...很多...令本來天真幼稚的我,成熟過來(也許只有我這麼覺得 =x )
不怕說...喜歡過的人加上默默暗戀過的人,真的多不勝數...
也許看到這裡,別人會覺得我花心.也許...
可是,喜歡一個人有罪嗎?而且我喜歡那麼多個,有多少個是喜歡自己的?
沒有!!!
那難道要我死守一個沒有結果的愛情,默默的...傻傻的守候?
難道就沒有選擇的權利?
我守候過一個沒有結果的愛情兩年...到最後我得到什麼?
答案只有別人的不理不睬!不論你對他多麼的愛護...什麼狗屎垃圾!
ps:說到那個火就打起來... psps繼續~
當中:
傷得我最痛的那個人,也是年紀比我小很多的人.
他令我學會最多,
一對情侶,
不能每天都粘得太緊..這樣只會逼到對方對你反感.
不能對他太過的好,他會因為這樣而自大起來,覺得你沒有他不行.
他還令我的直覺變強,觀察力上升,而且不能太過放縱一個人.
還有做人不能太過無趣,每天粘在一起即想不到一點話題.還沒在一起的時候,話題多到聊都聊不完,每天通電話3-5個小時,可是為什麼在一起久了就連一點話題都找不到?
可是也因為我學會的,
我開始不敢太粘,也就被人覺得我不重視.
已經不會如何在對別人好,被人覺得我很黑心.
觀察力強,疑心也變種,想的自然也變多,信任度自然減少...
最後還學會說很多爛笑話~哈哈...
第二:
被我傷害過的人,也就是年紀差不多的人.
這是我最敷衍的一次愛情,我也很抱歉...
他令我學會了珍惜,對不起,拋棄了才學會如何珍惜.
不珍惜,也就沒有後悔可言...不論你怎麼道歉,錯過了就再也沒機會了.
他讓我體會到傷害我最痛的人對我的感覺,他對我太好,太粘...把我捧得太高,變得自大...
有些事情,不親身體驗是不會了解那感覺,學會用對方的角度去看.
第三:
我暗戀印象最深刻和暗戀我的人.
他們讓我學會人不能總是活在幻想當中,要會分哪些是真實的哪些是虛幻的.
要學會分,哪些是高不可攀的人,哪些是你怎麼努力也得不到的人.
你真的只能默默的,看著他,把他當成偶像的崇拜,這樣你會快樂些.
暗戀/明戀我的人,令我知道社會險惡..為了得到你而不折手段的說你好話,只要你為這些話而動心,就等於完蛋.他們不是為愛情而來,而是為樣子,為"性"而來...可悲吧?
他們令我學會了,不要輕信花言巧語,誰不會說?
多喝水啊~早點睡啊~照顧身體啊~你吃了沒啊~都是千篇一律的~
令我學會什麼?學到我也會花言巧語怎麼哄一個人上釣 =__="
但起碼我釣到,我不會輕言放棄!這是我最近學會的...哈哈...
第四:
令我覺得莫名其妙,被控制得很辛苦的人,也就是年紀比我大很多的人.
他令我知道,流下男兒淚是很容易騙得了一個人心軟的. xD
他其實也就是我所說的,別因一個人對你太好,就輕易相信的人.
一旦你上鉤,他之前所對你的好,都要回收...甚至連利息也一起計算.
對不起說一句,他對我很好...可是就被控制得很辛苦,我想做回我自己.
這裡我學會,喜歡一個人不是要改變他,而是喜歡他的全部.
你的愛人不是你的傀儡,一旦失去他想要的自由,他就會離你而去.
還有就是,如果你真的不是那麼喜歡對方,請儘早讓對方知道...最起碼雙方不用繼續那麼辛苦的繼續維持那段已經沒有愛的愛情.
第五:
我付出(不是金錢)過最多的暗戀對象,也就是挑戰自己(犯賤)的一個對象.
他就是令我最火大的一個人,也許還是在意,所以到目前都還控制不了自己的情緒.
他令我學會如果那個人還不是你的另一半,千千萬萬不要為了追求他而花那一分一毫!
那一定是不值得的!試想想,如果你用錢得到的愛情,很明顯他只在意你的錢(小禮物是okay啦),因為到最後你會發現,你正在把錢丟進淡水海!他一點都不會在乎的,如果她會喜歡你,你根本不用花一分錢,你還是能"搞定"他.
再來就是,當你很清楚知道自己很對方不可能的時候,請及時把自己的腳拔出來,不要越踩越深直到無法自拔的狀態.唯一的方法就是,盡可能少見(或不見)對方(這是對我自己有用的方法)
還有一點他真的令我找到我人生中重要的東西,就是"知己".
以前需要把事情埋在心裡,最起碼現在我有朋友能夠分享我的喜悅,這目前是我人生中最快樂的一件事~
不知不覺已寫了一小時半...是時候休息了 =_="
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
05 June 2011
05 October 2009
Fate『Friends』- S1T1 Coursemate
Friends...
How we met?
How we become a good friends?
What made you so important in my life?
Why God put us together, but seperated us soon?
Some friends, just know a year,
Some friends, just know a year,
but they will remember you forever.
Some friends, known for years,
but after several years were separated,
They'll never remember who you are.Chia Yeong How
As they said "Don't know he is stupid or just lazy"
My first impression was "He was clever!"
Because he seem like know many things...
Nevertheless... I'm wrong...
We did help him for his homework as well,
but he was likes "Give him an inch and he will take a yard"
Sometimes, when we chat with him,
he'll reply some irrelevance stuff...
I'm speechless with him...
Nevertheless... I'm wrong...
We did help him for his homework as well,
but he was likes "Give him an inch and he will take a yard"
Sometimes, when we chat with him,
he'll reply some irrelevance stuff...
I'm speechless with him...
------------------------------------------------------------
Chng, Alex, Big Boss, Wern Chern
Sorry for no photo with them...
They always are one gang in our class...
Whatever program they have, we wouldn't join.
Whatever program we have, they wouldn't join too.
It is funny?
We are inside the same class,
but separated into few different groups.
They always are one gang in our class...
Whatever program they have, we wouldn't join.
Whatever program we have, they wouldn't join too.
It is funny?
We are inside the same class,
but separated into few different groups.
------------------------------------------------------------
Mik Wong Poh Wai
He quite funny actually,
but just had some bad habits...
Don't speak ill of others behind them =x
------------------------------------------------------------
Yee Ling
At the beginning, I thought she was Malay.
Wearing sunglasses, carrying a bag... Cool!
My first impression was "She was friendly!"
When she saw me still greeted me with a smile...
After we know each other better, I know that she was helpful.
When she doesn't understand, she will be asked many questions.
Some of our classmate afraid she asked some questions they might not understand.
Its Scary >"<
------------------------------------------------------------
Cristina Chew Jin Yin
Pretty Girl =D
We didn't chat more...
because she was pure English educated,
but she learned Chinese also.
I'm pleasure same group with her before.
Actually, to be her good friend is worth...
"Can improve my English"...LOL
------------------------------------------------------------
Leong Chong Chern
First come to my mind is..."He like OL"
Everyday can't away from them...
He has cleanliness...
That is why he likes to live alone.
He demanded perfection,
Once he can't make it, he wouldn't have mood to continue.
Sometimes he is capricious/stubborn...
Never thought of other people's feelings...
Still we can be a good friend :D
Everyday can't away from them...
He has cleanliness...
That is why he likes to live alone.
He demanded perfection,
Once he can't make it, he wouldn't have mood to continue.
Sometimes he is capricious/stubborn...
Never thought of other people's feelings...
Still we can be a good friend :D
------------------------------------------------------------
Tan Chiew Yean
She and Mart always be together,
like a couple...
I'm always can't remember what is her name,
until term two,
We have much more things to talk to...
Kind of good girl, hardwork(actually nothing to do at home XD)
------------------------------------------------------------
Mart Yeok Chin
Another pretty girl in our class,
but totally different type.
First impression was "She and Yean very quiet"
When we have class, she didn't talk much to us ...
Well, after know her better,
I felt like she was friendly too.
And...
She likes to shop alone...
but totally different type.
First impression was "She and Yean very quiet"
When we have class, she didn't talk much to us ...
Well, after know her better,
I felt like she was friendly too.
And...
She likes to shop alone...
------------------------------------------------------------
Daniel Fu
Gangster!!! LOL
Thats was my first impression...
But that was only outward appearance.
Since first day of the class, we already know each other,
because of the fundamental drawing class.
From first term, we already become a good friend,
he always said my English like "fxxx" to encourage other.
Moreover, he become unpopular in the second term,
just because his bad habits.
If asked someone to list down his bad habits,
I think that should be many =x
Well, he will be fly to Australia soon.
Just hope he can enjoy his life there.
------------------------------------------------------------
Loh Chia Hou
Game Wacko! LOL
He quite quiet, but when he speak...
It like throwing you a BOOM!
Secondly, if you treat him a lunch or whatever for FREE!
Then, take him to sell also he wouldn't care,
and just said yes to you.>.<
------------------------------------------------------------
Victor Foong Sai Ho
Another Game/Movie Wacko!
At beginning, he was very quiet,
Come to college alone, going back home alone.
But, when inside the msn's conversation he can talk many.
After he forced to become a member of our family,
he is not alone now (i guess XD)
------------------------------------------------------------
Aam (Mohd Nizam)
The only Malay in our class.
At the beginning, we always had lunch together,
but I can't afford everydays KFC, so I leave him.
His mind only "Fashion"
Everyday Fashion, Fashion, Fashion...
If you asked him to do others homework instead of Fashion,
he will just said "I'm lazy, no mood to do that!" XD
He likes to be a model too,
you can saw him often take photo for himself.
Sometimes, pity him also...
The only Malay,
Can't follow us to eat Chinese foods,
alone to had lunch.
------------------------------------------------------------
Danielle Liew
Paid so much money just for passing time =x
This is what she said in 3D class...
Hmm...
Not much impression with her >.<
The only thing I know was,
she don't like to do homework,
and always make it last minute (like me =x)
If I not mistaken,
She like photograph and to be a model XD
------------------------------------------------------------
Priscilla Wong Yin Ee
Ganas Girl!!!
Don't provoke her, otherwise you will die very badly.
First impression "Don't like her at all!"
Because when I first met her,
she gave me the feeling that she likes to show off.
In addition, the first time we chat in msn's conversation,
she said can't understand my English =_="
I like being instigated.
But...
After know her better,
I notice that, she was very nice! (but still GANAS!)
Sadly I can't help her when our first presentation.
------------------------------------------------------------
Andrenne Chung Mei Ling
Pretty Girl also =)
She is changeable...
Can be funny, can be ganas, can be crazy as well.
Don't know that was good or bad. >.<
But, I have no effect,
we still are good friend~
------------------------------------------------------------
Felicia Tan Phaik Imm
The cutest girl in our class,
as I know, she got many pursuers in the class.
But my first impression with her was "She was like a slave"
around the entire girl.
Mean she not prominent at all...
Is actually different,
She was helpful, friendly and voluble.
She likes hang out with friends,
playing around.
------------------------------------------------------------
Frankie Cheah Pang Fei
My roommate,
He kind of quiet person, don't like to talk.
Sometimes, he was very blur,
until what he did also can't be sure...
And...
Sometimes, when you talk to him,
he will be stunned moment then respond to you.
And...
Sometimes, he was stubborn,
whatever I told, he wouldn't listen,
until someone give the same criticism, he just to listen.
(After he saw this, might tell me "got meh?", might be ng song later =x)
------------------------------------------------------------
Akito Gan Chew Sang
My Daughter!(but not girl =.=)
He not a girl, but he likes a girl... LOL
He likes a ropes, connected the whole class together.
Without him, we wouldn't know our classmate so quickly...
Without him, our class is less joy...
Without him, I will be everyday stay at home and doing nothing...
Without him, I wouldn't know what is love and care...
But...
Do we still have chance to fun together?
Our class will become more quiet,
and...
less the voice...
less the sound that call me "Dad"
I will again become lonely again?
------------------------------------------------------------
Eric Leong Jing Xiang
The person who are most difficult to know.
We took more than half term to know him.
Eventually he was forced to become a member of our family,
but still not join us for any program.
So... We called him "Cold Blooded" X]
At beginning, he only talks to his friend,
Come to class, sit with his friend,
after class, went back with his friend,
and never join us for lunch.
The reason he not joins us, and we didn't invite him
is because he talks in English, and not understand Mandarin.
After we know each other, no one dared near him,
because most of them can't understand, what he was talking.
Even if his talk with us, we only for his smirking.
The funny things is,
after he tell the story, everyone in the nod,
but after he away from us, I asked them what he talking about,
Everyone replied, "I don't know!" LOL
He was very hardwork, forbid others for help,
and he don't like group work.
Won't simply waste money.
Endangered good boy... who want? LOL...
------------------------------------------------------------
Family Tree
(Father[Me],Mother[Frankie],Son[Eric],
Daughter[Akito] and Daughter's husband[Victor])
Suddenly, I'm became father...
Suddenly, I got one daughter, one son and... a wife...
Is a bit weird, but good things is "I am not alone"
Whatever program we had, they'ld participate.
(except "that cold blood" always ignore us =x)LOL
------------------------------------------------------------
S1T1's Group C
Jeannie, Daphne , Rehnu, Arpana, Melissa,
Alice (not inside the photo)
Not know them well,
Soonest we will be a group of good friend =)
------------------------------------------------------------
Labels:
Friendship,
Memories
22 September 2009
Yesterday's Dream
3.30a.m, It is very late...
but... I couldn't sleep...
so... I thought a lot...
At First...
The shadow of you was automatically come to my mind...
But... These times, I didn't thought about "I can't have you"...
I'm thought about when we became a couple...
It is sweet...
Holding your hand, when we have any outing...
Kissing your cheek, when we are apart...
Hugging your waist, when we sit together...
Having food together, living together...
Study together, working together...
Travel the world together...
Yea... I knew that is only dreams...
But... It is happy when I thought about you and me...
I will cherish it, since we have not much time together...
Secondly,
My previous life...
I started to think that I'm very naive when I was young...
Even now, I still think that I'm not mature at all...
How naive I am?
When I was Standard 1, there was a pretty girl at our class...
She is generally recognized as the pretty girl...
Just because of these reason... I started to think I like her...
At first, I bought a cheap pencil box and pack nicely,
but... not dare to give her... (my whole life is so timid)
Still remember that is my Moral teacher help to pass it to her...
but... she open it, and asked someone to pass it back to me...
That was my first time being rejected xD
but I had no feeling at all...
When I was Standard 2, the same thing happened to me...
Same case, but with different pretty girl...
but these time I didn't make any action, and just told my friends I like her... Thats all...
Now, the girl already married, and had a baby...
I don't think I know what love is when I was young,
even now also not so sure...
Why we need love in our life?
Until I'm Standard 5...
I'm started to become famous at the school...
Started to have some pursuers...
But... I rejected them and run away from them...
Maybe because of the feeling of jealous,
my friends are in love with their girl friend...
So... I tried to find a target...
Finally, I get it, and together with her for few months...
but... after that... I met my "First".(Confused xD)
I tried to find some reason to discard her...
but... the same things happen to me, being discarded...
so... I can't stand alone, and tried to find her back...(After you all saw these, someone will kill me >"<)
The similar thing happened for my second love...
Discarded, wanted it back...
Thought until here... I knew I'm really stupid and fickle-minded...
Someone might love you forever, but you rejected/discarded...
Someone might only play around with you, but you put all your efforts there...
Life... Is complicated...
But... take it easy, you will be enjoy it...
How many people can enjoy their life without any worries/upset?
Labels:
Feeling,
Love Story,
Memories
27 August 2009
♂暗♥恋♀- Unrequited Love
這是2008年發生的...算起來也不算久...
我把日期寫出來是因為我要給自己記得...
最近很烦...这世上能让我伤心,烦恼,开心,享尽甜 酸苦辣的也就只有爱情.而且最讨厌的是暗恋!就不懂为什么我只有暗恋的份,却拿不起勇气去表白.明明就有他的电话号码,就是不敢把信息传过去; 明明他根本都不懂我的电话号码,就是怕他会打过来问我是谁;明明是那么的近,却把他想得很遥远.我到底是怎么了?为什么我就如此胆小?我不想再过毫无结果 的暗恋生活,暗恋真的很辛苦...
24/10/2008 - 今天我正打算去某地方,正当我到那里时...我...看见了他,可能是夜晚吧,所以我都没什么注意他.当我走进店里时,里边就只有我一个客人,感觉好尴 尬...不久,他就从外面走了进来.他样子不怎么样(因为我看人都从样子看起),当他来问我东西时,我才认真的看了他一下下...真的不怎么样!!!但 是...就有一股魅力吸引着我.我一直偷偷的看着他,脸颊耳朵不仅红了起来,感觉好热.可惜...见他的时间只有短短的半小时...我跟他拿了名片(电话 号码的来源)就回家去了.
在那之后,我開始習慣性的每天假裝經過他的店,偷偷的望他一眼都好~但是...我知道這樣下去也不會有什么結果.開始有點心疼...
03/12/2008 - 興奮的回到家,準備還一切開始出發~就可能太過興奮,還沒出家門耳朵臉頰就紅紅熱熱的...走著走著,滿腦子都是他.到了...我蠻期待的打開了門,但既 看不到他的蹤影,心里不禁失望了一下下(雖然知道他不可能不在).當我坐下來的時候(東張西望),后來他還是出現了,而且還小笑了一下下.心里亂想,他 笑...是因為我又來光顧嗎?還是...原本很多話想說,但嘴有如千金重,想說...卻開不了口...真的很想把自己打一頓...怎么自己那么沒用啊?他 不就在我的眼前么?卻什么都做不到說不出!見他的時間,還是那么的短...又是時候離開了...我...不舍得...但是,要怪只能怪自己的無能那么的沒 用...
已經兩個月了...我還是那么的想他,還是無時無刻的去偷偷的望他....有沒有人能告訴我能怎么做.有!都是叫我打電話給他或信息他...但我都做不到...已經不懂如何是好了~
17/01/2009 - 一个半月没见到他了...今天我又在光顾了他.我今天,没有以前的兴奋,没有以前的冲动...只是有想见他的想法!我已知道,我跟他是不可能的了... 但,我还带着一丝的希望进了去~今天跟以往不一样,平时他最多只是笑笑而已。今天不一样的地方就是...他跟我打招呼了,感觉就像我是他的熟客一样。我不 懂该兴奋好还是怎么样...从他口中得知,那间店是他跟一个异性partner所开的...当时听了即感觉有点失望,很想放弃的感觉。过后我却从他手下口 中得知,他们只是partner,却不是情侣...感觉松了一口气+少许开心。而且这次是我跟他谈话最多的一次,从而得知一些关于他的事情~时间又这样过 去了...我自个儿跑了去吃晚餐,完了就回家~没想到回去時经过他的店,他看到我还很热情的打招呼。我不懂该开心还是怎么样了...可能...我跟他有缘 既無份吧!能再见他的时间不多,以后还有没有机会还是个不知数~
14/03/09 - 我还是再次光顾...这次只是带着爱慕者的心情跑了进去。还有,今天特别之处就是我的爱人载我去(至于為什么我會那么快有另一春?繼續看我別的帖子 吧~)~今天的他,一直往外看...好像在等着什么经过似的。我也没多管,这次的话也不多...可能是已经有了爱人的关系吧~对他的喜欢,已经慢慢的减少 了很多。以前的我问过自己一个问题...如果他突然向我表白,我会 选择现在的爱人...还是他...以前很矛盾,很想选择他,但又会很对不起喜欢我的愛人...但今天的我,就算给我选多少次,我都会选现在的爱人!就把他留做我的愛慕者~
到这天为止~以后都不会再更新了,把心放在现在的他会更好吧~再见了~
我的暗戀經歷,即是那么短短的幾個月...是我花心么?善變?我自己也不知道...
非常的討厭自己,為什么就不能一心一意的愛一個人...
也許...我的他...還沒出現吧...
現在...又有別的暗戀對象了...我...到底是不是真的了解什么叫愛?
我把日期寫出來是因為我要給自己記得...
最近很烦...这世上能让我伤心,烦恼,开心,享尽甜 酸苦辣的也就只有爱情.而且最讨厌的是暗恋!就不懂为什么我只有暗恋的份,却拿不起勇气去表白.明明就有他的电话号码,就是不敢把信息传过去; 明明他根本都不懂我的电话号码,就是怕他会打过来问我是谁;明明是那么的近,却把他想得很遥远.我到底是怎么了?为什么我就如此胆小?我不想再过毫无结果 的暗恋生活,暗恋真的很辛苦...
24/10/2008 - 今天我正打算去某地方,正当我到那里时...我...看见了他,可能是夜晚吧,所以我都没什么注意他.当我走进店里时,里边就只有我一个客人,感觉好尴 尬...不久,他就从外面走了进来.他样子不怎么样(因为我看人都从样子看起),当他来问我东西时,我才认真的看了他一下下...真的不怎么样!!!但 是...就有一股魅力吸引着我.我一直偷偷的看着他,脸颊耳朵不仅红了起来,感觉好热.可惜...见他的时间只有短短的半小时...我跟他拿了名片(电话 号码的来源)就回家去了.
在那之后,我開始習慣性的每天假裝經過他的店,偷偷的望他一眼都好~但是...我知道這樣下去也不會有什么結果.開始有點心疼...
03/12/2008 - 興奮的回到家,準備還一切開始出發~就可能太過興奮,還沒出家門耳朵臉頰就紅紅熱熱的...走著走著,滿腦子都是他.到了...我蠻期待的打開了門,但既 看不到他的蹤影,心里不禁失望了一下下(雖然知道他不可能不在).當我坐下來的時候(東張西望),后來他還是出現了,而且還小笑了一下下.心里亂想,他 笑...是因為我又來光顧嗎?還是...原本很多話想說,但嘴有如千金重,想說...卻開不了口...真的很想把自己打一頓...怎么自己那么沒用啊?他 不就在我的眼前么?卻什么都做不到說不出!見他的時間,還是那么的短...又是時候離開了...我...不舍得...但是,要怪只能怪自己的無能那么的沒 用...
已經兩個月了...我還是那么的想他,還是無時無刻的去偷偷的望他....有沒有人能告訴我能怎么做.有!都是叫我打電話給他或信息他...但我都做不到...已經不懂如何是好了~
17/01/2009 - 一个半月没见到他了...今天我又在光顾了他.我今天,没有以前的兴奋,没有以前的冲动...只是有想见他的想法!我已知道,我跟他是不可能的了... 但,我还带着一丝的希望进了去~今天跟以往不一样,平时他最多只是笑笑而已。今天不一样的地方就是...他跟我打招呼了,感觉就像我是他的熟客一样。我不 懂该兴奋好还是怎么样...从他口中得知,那间店是他跟一个异性partner所开的...当时听了即感觉有点失望,很想放弃的感觉。过后我却从他手下口 中得知,他们只是partner,却不是情侣...感觉松了一口气+少许开心。而且这次是我跟他谈话最多的一次,从而得知一些关于他的事情~时间又这样过 去了...我自个儿跑了去吃晚餐,完了就回家~没想到回去時经过他的店,他看到我还很热情的打招呼。我不懂该开心还是怎么样了...可能...我跟他有缘 既無份吧!能再见他的时间不多,以后还有没有机会还是个不知数~
14/03/09 - 我还是再次光顾...这次只是带着爱慕者的心情跑了进去。还有,今天特别之处就是我的爱人载我去(至于為什么我會那么快有另一春?繼續看我別的帖子 吧~)~今天的他,一直往外看...好像在等着什么经过似的。我也没多管,这次的话也不多...可能是已经有了爱人的关系吧~对他的喜欢,已经慢慢的减少 了很多。以前的我问过自己一个问题...如果他突然向我表白,我会 选择现在的爱人...还是他...以前很矛盾,很想选择他,但又会很对不起喜欢我的愛人...但今天的我,就算给我选多少次,我都会选现在的爱人!就把他留做我的愛慕者~
到这天为止~以后都不会再更新了,把心放在现在的他会更好吧~再见了~
我的暗戀經歷,即是那么短短的幾個月...是我花心么?善變?我自己也不知道...
非常的討厭自己,為什么就不能一心一意的愛一個人...
也許...我的他...還沒出現吧...
現在...又有別的暗戀對象了...我...到底是不是真的了解什么叫愛?
Labels:
Love Story,
Memories
26 August 2009
♫我的過去♫ - My Past
這是N年前的事...
在那個時候,真正喜歡過的只有兩個人。但都是沒結果的愛情,真的無力再去愛別人了~
我的初戀
對他算是一見鐘情吧.剛認識的時候,我們聊很多...甚至很快就成了好朋友,我們 每天通電話,有聊不完的話題,一天聊大概3-4個小時.覺得很開心,沒想到那么快能認識到他,而且還是感情不錯的.過了一段時間,我當了他哥哥...很想說...我不想只當你哥,要當你男朋友!但沒這個勇氣,怕說了就會連朋友都做不了.我就是那么的懦弱...
有次他失戀,哭了...我就跑了過去,安慰他.可能就因為這樣吧,他覺得我對他很好,就對我有好感吧~有一次,我就在信息暗示了我對他的愛意,沒想到他對我也有好感(也許是對他很好,打動了他吧),就這樣我們就開始在一起了.每天都黏在一起,每天都通電話,不然就sms...總之就是一天沒對方的消息都不能,這就是所謂的熱戀期?在一起時,真的很開心.可能是初戀的關系,我把所有感情不顧一切都放在這段愛情里.時間久了,他開始覺得我煩,粘他,沒有新鮮感(可能).開始對我冷了下來,對我的事不怎么想去了解了.那時候,我已經察覺他已經改變了.直到有一天,當他不在的時候,那么巧他沒拿手機...我拿起了他的手機,看了他的信息,竟然...我猜得沒錯,他果然跟另一個人告白!!!
我傷心極了,但我還不死心的希望他會不離開我...我等...我一直改變我自己,故意在他面前出現,但他都無動于衷...我等,等了好久...一年過去...我開始失望了,不再抱有期望,再過回我單身的生活.自從被他拋棄后,我對任何愛情再也不信任,也不會認真的對待.花了很久很久(大概兩年)的時間,才把他從我腦海里抹去,剩下的就是我們的回憶~但是...當我想要過回自己的生活的時候,電話響了...(無名信息)我跟他聊了幾封的信息,但他不怎么愿意告訴我他的身份...最后被我逼他說"你不告訴我,那我跟你聊天也都沒意義"...他才告訴我他的身份.他竟然找我了,也許還有想在一起的意識!我很失望地望著那信息想"你早一年找我的話,那該多好",但我嘴里都停不了游戲游戲...每當他找我,問我在做什么的時候,我都說我在游戲中...他竟然你說"電腦!電腦!電腦!現在電腦比較重要?"o_O"看了這信息...火就來了...我一句"当然是电脑重要,至少它不会伤害我".從此就沒他的消息了~
因為事情都過了有段時間,所以我記得的只有這些~
過后的日子,就變得很悶很無聊~就在想:"別人都在戀愛,我也想找個人陪",就因為這樣而開始找了~當中有過很多過眼云煙的無聊愛情.
我的次戀
直到有一天,跟朋友聊天的時候...無意中聊到了他!一時興起,就找借口從朋友中拿到了他的電話號碼。起初他沒回我的信息,有點失望。但是過了不久才知道他 是因為有些事情才不能回復我信息,我等到他完事后我又再次的寄信息去給他。“嗶嗶”他回信了!沒想到...我無意中說出口的話竟能打動到他...我們就這樣開始了。我們開始我們的約會,雖然很久才能見一次,但是當時我的感覺全回來了。抱著他,就覺得自己好幸福哦。但是...事情往往就是不會如你所愿。也許我們刚认识就成了情侶,話題不多,能說的也不多。我開始覺得這樣下去不是辦法...開始厭倦這樣的日子,每天有或沒話題 都要跟他信息談天。拿起電話:
“哈咯!”雙方都靜靜不出聲...
“為什么不說話”其中一方問...
“不懂要說什么嘛”另一方答...
每天的通話就這樣,但就算是這樣...他都會很開心每天不遲到的信息和通話,他也不會覺得厭倦,也不埋怨些什么。最可惡的就是我自己,卻偏偏覺得被纏著,沒自由很不想這樣。到后來...擺脫不了這種感覺,最后跟他坦白的說了“不然我們分開一下,讓我靜一靜”。他聽了后,哭了...打了通電話過來:“為什么?”當時我覺 得很心疼,但又擺脫不了那些感覺,就坦白地告訴了他。他還說了一句“我會等你”
過后的日子,我又一個人了...當中還是有跟他聯絡,但是都是罵架收場。日子一天一天的過,那些感覺終于消失了。每當我看到目標的時候,腦中突然會浮現他的影子。而且目標都跟他很像。慘了...才發覺原來...我還是喜歡他!我又厚著臉皮去找他聊天,一點一點的暗示著他。但最后還是罵架收場。直到有一天,在某地方 看見了他...但幾乎都不認得他。他變了!我就再次信息他,還好...沒有罵架了。我忍不了心里對他掛念,開口對他表白了...但是得到的結果就是... “對不起,我不知道要給你什么反應”聽了這句話后,心很疼。雖然他不回我信息,但是我還是一天一封的寄過去。
直到有一天,收到他的一些消息。就想到了個壞點子,打算用激漲法使他回我信息。不料,他真的回我了,但是被罵得很慘。結果弄巧反拙...我還是每天不斷的寄信息過去,直到現在半封都沒回我。我真的很后悔,后悔自己拋棄了他,后悔自己對他所做的一切。可是世上沒后悔可言,后悔莫及!我覺得好累...無力再去爭了...我知道...這一直以來都是自己的錯,我不能怨他為什么不能在接受我...
我只能默默的祝福他。只要他過的開心就好,希望他找到懂得珍惜他的人。無論他原不原諒我,我都希望他能把我們的回憶留著!也许放手才是真正解脫的方法~
(这些事情已有很久的一段时间了...所以这文章只是个回忆...请读者明白)
Im trying to translate it to English... Give me sometime =.="
Labels:
Love Story,
Memories